Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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