i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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