She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
