his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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