ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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