I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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