WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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