You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
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just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm too high and old for this...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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