They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
