You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
