ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
