Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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