Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
