maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
