Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
