He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm at about main and main street
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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