It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
