When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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