The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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