my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Randomize
