before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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