I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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