Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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