Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I can text with my tongue
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
