You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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