you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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