I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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