JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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