I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
