one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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