she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
