Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
