I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
