Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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