Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
