I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
