Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
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It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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