who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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