Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
