Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
