She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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