He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
