I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
