but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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