I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
