The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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