I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
