haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
