we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
