oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
