FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
