i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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