ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We have so much sex to catch up on
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
