We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.