but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
