I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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