So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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