Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
