nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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