he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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