This girl is more easily done than said...
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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