Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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